BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
