Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
