So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
