I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
