How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
