Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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