o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
