i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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