her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
