I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
