Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
