That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
