Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
