just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
