I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think my vagina is haunted
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
