about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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