So drunk, too bad you don't want this
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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