im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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