i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
