Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
someone owes me an orgasm
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
