if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
