I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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