does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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