Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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