i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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