And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
