nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
