Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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