i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
