I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I currently don't understand fingers.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
