before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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