I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
