I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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