dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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