I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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