pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
