You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Randomize
