I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
