North Korea, Best Korea!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
