She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
