belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This is my gift to your gina
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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