Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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