these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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