I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
are you so shy because you have an std?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i believe in u and ur pee
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
