if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
