I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
