Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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