It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
