my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
