Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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